Unsent Messages

I am utterly and completely consumed by you and at nights it’s only the thought of one day being with you that allows me to have a good nights sleep. I hate that I can never be with you and that it’s not possible, I hate that I love you in such an extreme way, I hate that my stupid little crush on you got the better of me rendering me infatuated with you. I don’t think I’ll ever find someone like you and it scares me that you’re the one I measure others by. And no matter what happens, it is you I always return you. No one can live up to the light you have lit up in me and only you have the power to keep it alight and to blow it out. I hate that at nights I dream of my fairytale ending where it is just you and I. I hate that I know that you’re not mine and that you were never made for me. I hate you for the feelings you swirl within me. I hate that every little nice thing you do has me swooning. No matter how hard I try to get over you, I truly never do and always end up back at the same spot, loving you from a distance, knowing that you are not mine nor am I yours. A hard reality I cannot accept yet. I hate the fact that I will never truly get over you. The only chance I have of forgetting you and/or moving on is to leave, leave where you are so that your presence, your scent and just you as a whole don’t haunt me, tempting me deeper. You have become a part of me that I don’t know how to live without and it’s your smile that makes my day, your little compliments, your jokes, the way you make me feel. You truly drive me mad but I don’t know how I would be without you. I only hope I find my person soon otherwise I will come back, hoping for just one more glimpse, one more smile, one more conversation and one more connection.