It’s currently 11:13pm... and as I type this I feel like.. my hearts just tearing apart.. I can’t say those three words, as much as I want to I know I can’t.. I know you’re still in my life but something hurts.. I know for sure, I didn’t love an idea of you.. I loved you because I truly cared for you.. I truly wanted to be in your life, to be happy with you, to support you, to be with you during your highs and lows all together.

But I can’t ever forgive myself for what happened. And I need to learn to begin on loving myself and growing. Trying to get things to be set straight again. And you were okay with supporting me on that.. because you love me. And it hurts so much.. knowing that you’ll unconditionally support me after hurting you.. I feel selfish.. but you say I shouldn’t apologize for focusing on me. This is why.. you’re too good for me. You may not think that way but I do and it hurts so god damn much why..

Thank you, supporting me, for trying to get me out of my comfort zone, for helping me calm down when I get stress or breakdown, for being there for me, for talking to me, for being in my life and for living. But most of all, for loving me unconditionally..

I don’t know what the future for us will be, but I only want and hope for the best for you. Because you deserve so much more than what you think or what the world can give. I’ll always, care for you. Unconditionally.

Goodnight, trushi Roller.. :.)

Hey babers :) you probably won’t ever see this, and if you do, you’ll probably know this is for you. Bc this is your gamertag of when i first met you afterall. Things are tough, i won’t lie. Ive cried and have been thinking constantly, but im still by your side. Cause i want to see you go through with your promises once this is all over. To see what life has in store. And thats what im scared of, the future for us. And its okay..

All i ask, is that there isnt so much pain along the way. Take care of yourself hun, and i love you with all my heart. All the mostest toastests :)

You've genuinely made me feel so much better and I really appreciate you :(