i wish i could speak to you like i did when i was little. it's so much harder to bond with you as a teenager and also when you're in another country. i'm gonna regret not reaching out more in the future, i'm just so shy now and i hate it but i'm ready to start putting in more effort. last time we spoke and i told you my future plans you were so surprised and proud and i realised you really know nothing about me anymore and how i've grown up to be. i don't want to keep settling for the memories i have of you from like almost 10 years ago, it's such a waste and so selfish when you're still here now. i love you even if i have funny ways of showing it - your daughter.