Unsent messages to HS

we can't even look at each other anymore; your eyes are filled with so many unsaid things, so much sadness.

sometimes i wish i could talk to you again but i'm scared i'll just end up being disappointed. i have so many good memories of you, but it's been years i know you've changed and i'm scared i won't like who you are now and you won't like me either. we could have been something so beautiful back then, if only you told me how you felt, but i guess i can't blame you because i didn't tell you how i felt either. to me you will always be the one that got away, i'm so sorry i never told you the truth but i loved you so deeply i was scared of ruining the friendship we had but if i could go back i would have done things differently.

I love you shamelessly to the other world and back. So much that it hurts me. Let go. End it. Or love me back just as fiercely cause if you don't, I won't be able to keep going on. I'm in a lot of pain, every night.

idk what it is but i cannot stop thinking about you. it's like i crave u. fuck. feels like u got a hold on me. i'm gon go crazy