this is me telling you things i could never tell u in person. i don’t know why, i’ve known you for the last 16 years but we never talk about this stuff. so just over a year ago, i was submitted into camhs for anorexia nervosa, i had appointments every week and had a strict meal plan. you were always this heathy person good diet, and you’ll probably be in disbelief in this as we always ended up eating junk together but i just slipped out of the routine. don’t beat yourself up over not noticing because neither did my group. i felt i didn’t want to tell you or sam as us 3 had always had this view on each other and i knew that by telling you it would tarnish it, it would affect the way you’d see me. you can’t deny it, once u tell someone about an illness, that’s all they see when they think of you and you and sam were my safe people, the people that knew me for me from a young age and i didn’t want to change that. anywya im out of camhs now, i got discharged from the middle of lockdown which was a proud achievement of mine. so hopefully i’ll avoid going back down that route but i know how easy it will be to relapse :( i just wanted to say that if i’m ever not here i love you to mars and back and will be there with you every step of the way whether you see me or not xxx