I'm scared. Actually scared is an understatement I'm terrified. We are supposed to be friends. Hell I would even say that you're one of my best friends and yet sometimes I actually think but what if we were more. I beat myself up over it the moment that thought crosses my mind cause I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I know you don't like me that way or will ever actually like me in that way yet my freakin idiot of a brain decides to do this. The worst part is that I honestly can't get you out of my head. Every time I talk to you my entire mood changes. Like no matter how shitty my day is going with one hug or even one smile from you it instantly becomes better. And it goes both ways. Every time I make you smile or laugh, I feel so happy. Cause it's the purest thing on the planet for me. You're so beautiful and I don't think any of my actions will be able to portray how much I truly appreciate you being in my life. Being with you is like sitting in a blanket on a rainy day with a hot cup of tea. It's perfect, it's warm and it's comfortable. I'm so confused and I hate it. Even if I tell my brain to create a distance from you so I can actually figure out what I want it's not possible. I feel so dead if I even go a day without talking to you.