i called you ezzy once, but that was what you were named everywhere on my phone. i cant get over what happened. do you have any idea how much it hurt? it hurt so much, ezra. you made me so sad all the time, and now I'm miserable. I've grown so much and yet, yet, yet. youre gone, and everything is worse now. I'm the one who left, I knew if I stayed id just get more and more traumatized. but I loved you so much, so much. it hurt so much to walk away. i still cry almost every night because of you. your name has become a trigger for me. its been months, and still I am deeply affected by you. i asked you why you did to me what you did, and you told me it was because I approached you too intensely, that you felt suffocated by me. i have all these friends, I have this boy I love. and yet, I still wish every notification i get is from you. I'm not in love with you, I wasn't in love with you. i just was so attached, and you treated me so badly. it was so difficult to walk away. so difficult to go through all that I did and watch my best friend fall for you, watch you both flirt with each other in front of me. all i could do was remember when i was in her place, when you were saying those pretty words to me. and have to process all over again that youre just mean now, youre just cruel and cold. i told you this. and i told you i hated you. i told you of every time i hated you. and you understood, but you never changed. i still get hurt when i think of it. I'm the toxic one now because of you. i cant love him how i want because of you. i gave him excuses that he believed, didn't ask him to hangout for too long when all he wanted was to see me, because i was scared hed treat me how you treated me when i first saw you. i was scared hed be able to lie to me just like that, kiss my forehead and tell me he loves me, then break my heart again and again. its so unfair. its so unfair. I really hope you see this. I really hope you get sick to your stomach as you read this. I hope you hate yourself just as much as you made me hate you for it. I hope she leaves you one last time, and you realize how horrible you are. when all your surrounded with air and darkness, when everyone leaves, when you watch your life crumble in front of you, I hope you remember me. and i hope you wonder if that's how i felt. in case you are wondering, it was.

i liked you. and even if you did like me back like you implied you did, it wasnt enough to date me, just to f.

It hurts that I still love you but I know it won't happen I hope you know I would've chosen you

i just want us again. we both know now aint the time, but im ready when you are.

It’s not your fault I’m a habitual liar

why’d u have to move so far i miss u forever & always