everyone is now referring to the ppl they love by the colour yellow. but you were my rainbow because you made me feel every single emotion. and for some peculiar reason you still do. - I'll love you f&a but I can no longer be in love with you so goodbye.

this is the only place where I feel safe enough to talk about you bcs there rly is no judgment. you've hurt me in ways I can never explain but it's almost as though I enjoy the hurting bcs at least ik that while you hurt me you're still here.

why is it you always find your way back to me. you leave for a few months then come back as if ntg ever happened. you flirt and tease and act how you did in the beginning, when everything was gd. well guess what ntg is gd. it's all a mess and that's only bcs you come back and I let you.

I keep telling myself that im gg to tell you to either stay out of my life or decide to be with me but every time you come back around I just forget and let you in. you make me feel weak and I DESPISE feeling weak.

someone asked me "are you okay?" and I answered "yeah, ofc im ok. but I also feel like im drowning in the middle of the ocean stuck under 12 ft waves just trying not to give up." so, I guess you could say that im ok feeling like im drowning.
- that's exactly how you make me feel.

I love you, beautiful.