i would give so much to be slow dancing with you in my bathroom. matching yellow-painted toenails and all, listening to russ, post argument, tears streaming down my cheeks because i was so full of love for you. my heart hurts so much you really have no idea. it feels heavy. genuinely a weight in it

i think i will always be obsessed with that version of you. the version of u i had the pleasure of knowing :)! u never did anything to make me mad, so naturally it makes sense that the feelings for you, that past version of u, never really went away. i think about our time together fondly and think of you fondly! because all the memories I have of you are just so lovely. I don’t have any bad memories or any reason to hate you. but that was all things from the past. & it’s been almost a year! we’ve changed b! everything i know and ever miss about you was from a year ago! i have to remind myself of that from time to time.. thank u! so much! for everything! i have learned so much about myself and that makes me so grateful. i am so sorry for all of my mistakes in the past, u don’t deserve any pain due to my learning and my trial and error. and u know-neither do i, but despite everything i am so grateful i got to learn alongside u! hope you are well and are surrounding urself with people who make u happy. i am still always here if u ever need or want me. i miss the a I know, and would love to know how he is doing. if u see this, i think u’ll know this is about you. don’t reach out maybe, even though i want to hear everything about u, it might suck knowing ur only reaching out because *i* want u to. anyways, i am curious, how is kiwi? where are u going to college (i know u probs hate that question by now)? did ur mom ever end up teaching her class, even if it’s online? how is ur brother liking zoom high school? i have been thinking of ramiza a lot lately,, i hope ur family is taking care of themselves

i still love you, im sorry for everything, i wish things didn't turn out the way they did

I realized I can’t love you the same way you love me.Im sorry.

im sorry. i wish we could do it all over again, but i dont deserve a second chance.

Why couldn’t you have loved me the way you loved everybody else Addison.

i wish we could’ve talked before you left. i know you miss me like i miss you.

If you ever see this, please know that i still love you. i wish i could have u around.